LA MIRADA --- Adjusting to one college program is hard. Doing it three times is even harder. Each transfer means new teammates, new routines, and starting over. For Lillianna Garcia, the biggest challenge was a silent battle she faced. Living with epilepsy, she had to learn how to navigate not just a new school but also how to navigate this part of her life. The first-year Biola Softball player did not embark on this journey to Biola alone; her husband, Biola Baseball player Gabe Magallan, has been with her every step of the way.

MORE THAN A COMEBACK

After originally attending Cal State Fullerton, her dream school, Garcia's softball career and circumstances took her to Cal State Dominguez Hills (CSUDH). She had to adjust after discovering she suffered a serious shoulder injury during her freshman year. The injury caused her to enter the transfer portal and Cal State Dominguez Hills became her new home. She wanted to stay close to her home but far enough away to maintain independence. 

"I was really drawn to the coaches and their personalities," said Garcia. "They were people that I was comfortable around, and I thought it would be somewhere I could build my confidence again."

Garcia loved her time at CSUDH and even credits the program with rebuilding her confidence. After her injury, Garcia faced depression and anxiety to the point where she couldn't step onto the field. 

"Being at Dominguez Hills really helped me," said Garcia. "I was surrounded by people who I felt really cared about me, and I made my best friends there who will be there for me forever." 

However, after her end-of-season meeting with her coaches following her sophomore season, her coaches asked her a question that leaves almost every player with a lump in their throat: "Do you think you deserve your scholarship?" 

With a 3.15 ERA and a 15-3 record, in addition to her .347 on-base percentage. Garcia proved to be an essential player for the Toros. But she was left feeling her coaches did not have faith in her, which left her back where she started, questioning her value. 

CALLED TO MORE
Garcia began to feel she was not being pushed to her full potential, both academically and on the diamond. That was when her husband pitched, "What about Biola?" Last season, the Eagles' softball team won the conference and played in regionals. 

"Biola felt like I would strengthen my relationship with God and maybe find an identity that's not just softball, but who I am as a person, and my identity in Christ," said Garcia

She ended up falling in love with the campus and program. It already felt like home because she would visit her then fiancé on campus.

"It was really cool to see the softball field up close," said Garcia. "It really felt like a D1 where you get all the cool stuff, like gear." 

A CONSTANT THROUGH CHANGE
A new campus meant she had to readjust her life as an epileptic once again. At the age of 16 she could overlook her condition, thinking it was from drinking one too many energy drinks or Dutch Bros. rebels. But after her injury, she had another attack, and then they started frequently. 

"It was something that developed, the doctors think that it's due to stress," said Garcia. "It was really scary, because in my sleep, it almost felt like sleep paralysis. I couldn't move, couldn't talk, but my brain was awake." 

Not being able to play the game she loved caused her to be depressed, which brought about stress and anxiety, which is why she thinks the seizures were happening more frequently. 

Garcia says she gets really bad anxiety when she is home alone or has to sleep alone because it could happen in her sleep, and she needs someone to push her onto her side so she can breathe properly.

"It almost feels like a burden when I'm around people, because I'm like, I feel funny,  you have to watch me," said Garcia. "It's really scary being alone."

Now living with her husband on campus, she has his constant security and love. 

"Honestly, I feel like he really accepts me for who I am, and vis a versa," said Garcia. "He's my best friend, and I know I'm his." 

Garcia's journey has been anything but easy, but it has led her exactly where she needs to be. At Biola, she has found more than just another program; she has found stability and a deeper sense of identity beyond the game. 

She's been thriving on the field, too, hitting the middle of Biola's lineup as the team's everyday designated player, batting .328.